Winning!

Is it wrong that as I've witnessed Charlie Sheen's meltdown over the last few months/years that all I can think of is how much I wanna party with him? If it's wrong, then I don't wanna be right.



After seeing his interview on The Today Show, a lot of people would be quick to call him a delusional, self-entitled asshole. And yeah, I'll admit he comes across like he's got a god complex, but can you really blame the guy? If I made $2 million an episode and could use pornstar Bree Olson as a sexual canvas to indulge my every whim, I'd start to think I was a god among mortals too.

And let's be honest. Minus the fat nephew and the bi-curious live-in brother, Two and a Half Men was essentially a show created to mirror Sheen's real life. But leaving out the domestic assault, Valtrex, and Oxycontin. How do you screw that role up? How can you? That's like casting Kanye to star as an over-hyped, spoiled "rap" diva or Adrian Grenier to play a struggling, untalented actor. Oh wait...

So to review, he has more money than god (him), could out-snort Hunter S. Thompson in a cocaine binge, has the most morally vacant, hottest, I-hate-my-daddy girls around him at all times, and starred in the most successful CBS sitcom in years. Although to be fair, the competition is Mike and Molly and a reheated Hawaii Five-0 flop.

He says he's sober now for good because the partying got "boring", but I don't buy it. Brett Favre said he was gonna retire after the 2007 season, but since then he managed to toss the Jets out of the 2008 playoffs, literally toss the Vikings out of the 2009 Super Bowl on his final pass of the year, and expose his sad, jock penis to the world. Which I thought was selfish considering that's something, try as I might, that I can't un-see. But I digress.

Either way, David Lovett suggested I start this blog as a public forum for theme parties involving Charlie Sheen. Hopefully he'll realize sobriety is for quitters, come to his senses, read this blog in a year and choose his favorite suggested party, funding the entire thing himself from the money he'll undoubtedly get from the CBS lawsuit. Or, at the very least, this will be the last post I write once I come out of the refractory phase I'm currently in. (The Bree Olson mention above forced me to take a little internet detour.)

Or I could just make a t-shirt that says "I Wanna Party With Charlie Sheen" and wear it out every now and then. Yeah, that's good enough.